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i start loving the baby - 14 nov 11
Blog posted on 15-11-2011
being a mom is such a privilege. even i'm not giving birth yet, but i feel this. i feel my baby. i feel everything. i feel like i want to give my baby everything s/he needs! i want my baby to be healthy, i want him to be safe and warm. i want him to be okay. so i keep browsing and browsing for baby's best! i really don't want something ever happened to him. really.
may be this is what we called mother's instinct.
so today, after office hours, me and my hubby went to the hospital to check my baby's health.
this is our first experience. i registered myself as a mother (yess i'm soo touche) and wrote my husband's name and so on (which is new to me, ok i said that already).
after half an hour, somebody called my name, and i went to the doctor's room. and i said everything that i'm pregnant, i got twice or more test using test pack and it's all positive and i said i want my baby safe and healthy and normal so i asked to her what i'm supposed to do for this baby. i just can't stop myself to say this and that. i want the best for my baby. i really want it. i swear to Allah that i would even give my life for my baby. our baby, our love, this baby came with our huge love. i don't want to lose it. i should really try so hard to keep and save my baby.
couple minutes later, the doctor asked me to open my skirt and underwear and i felt my body vibrating. i'm somewhat nervous. what if there's something ? what if there's a disease or something, or bla or bla.
i sleep over, the doctor checked my vagina through that whatever machine and.....................
this view. the view of my own uterus and there is.... the doctor said "kantong rahim sudah berbentuk tapi krg baik tumbuh". i felt dropped :(( i was sad about this. really. she said it's probably because of my activity, so i'd be better to not getting too tired and.... having sex for two weeks (my hubby rolled his eyes that time :p).
anyway, the doctor gave me some vitamins and something to put into my anus and she said i have to comeback again after 2 weeks and hope it will get better.
and yes. after this kind of checking-up thing, i keep thinking that i start to love my baby. i start to wonder if it is a boy. or a girl. i wonder how s/he would be cute like his/her mom and dad. i love my baby. i love him/her, so i trust myself that i should be in best condition, that i don't wanna lose my baby. that i really don't wanna lose our baby dear.
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